long but fun journey! :)

long but fun journey! :)

we went to a mountain-terrain location where we hold surveys to each houses that are members of the program where I work in. It was a whole day activity and we asked the folks how long did we walk and they said that it is about 30 kms…
we rode in a nice vehicle when we went there but when we are about to go home they said that there wasn’t any available truck so we went walking and walking hoping that we could hitch a ride, lucky for us the town leader said that she can help us and we will be fetch in an hour. Though we felt tired, sad, and angry but still we were able to smile after all those difficulties and that is the most beautiful thing about us Filipinos. We laugh despite the sadness.

I am a WOMAN

I am working in a world where men rules. I know I am also called a leader because I have these people depending on me but to do that I must coordinate with the authorities and most of them are men. Thank God I was able to have this kind of job because I want to prove to everyone especially to men that women can also be leaders. That as for me I went to mountains, crossed rivers, ride in a motorcycle at night, and ride at the back of a truck (where it is dangerous and only men do that). I must conquer my fears; you know what I have a stage fright and this is the only fear I got. But my job requires me to speak in front of many people, to people older than me. And now I am slowly overcoming this fear.

I have witnessed everywhere that women have few rights when it comes to freedom. In other countries women are not allowed to speak for themselves, even they are not allowed to go to school, they will only stay at home because in the end when they grow up they will be housewives. This kind of thinking is what I am really against. It is like women are slaves which in fact are not. Men and women are equal because they are both human.

And now that I have the chance to show to the world that I am not just a woman, I AM WOMAN who can make a difference, who can change the world, who can make lives better to both men and women, and can inspire others to FIGHT for their dreams. It is not your culture, belief or race that will stop you from achieving your dreams, it is YOU and it is also YOU can make things happen.

The question I have for all men in the world,..What did you do for a woman to make her feel that she is worth than anything else in this world?that she can also be empowered??

and for all women in the world, what did you do, or achieved in making you an empowered woman of today?

let’s celebrate women’s month this March :)

It’s not easy….

It’s not easy to work in this kind of program because we have to deal with the complaints of the people. We are front-liners and field workers but not only that we also do other tasks. So it is hard to do both. But I can still handle the workload it’s just that I can’t handle the damn complaints of these people. They do their part and we also do our part but in the end there are still some things that were not accomplished the fact that we are not in the position to change everything in the system.
It has been my dream to work for the poor people. When I was younger I told my self that I if will be a millionaire I will surely help these people and now that I finally got that job, it was not easy…. There is money involved but our target is to change their lives especially their mindset.. it is not easy because they are old people…
But I always told my self that I’ve done my part I have nothing to worry about, and all of these things are for the common good.

secret

I have a crush on this guy, I first saw him in a meeting of staff in a certain program. I and my team mates came late so we seated at the back. He and his team mate were at the front. So while our supervisor was discussing in front, I was looking at the people who were also there in that meeting, I was searching for newly hired staffs. Then I saw him, he was standing. I said to myself, “Hmmm. He looks okay to me.”, then I stared down and I refrained myself from laughing because I said in my mind, “You were here because you were looking for a job, not looking for a boyfriend.” So I became serious and stopped thinking about it, and I gazed at him for the last time but he was gone. So I focused listening to our supervisor. After awhile I looked at my back and he was standing near. At my left side there was no chair, there was a space available. So he got one chair and seated right next to me. He asked few questions and introduced his self to me. I hesitated a lot to shake his hand because I am not used to that. Every time I meet a new person I don’t shake his or her hand unless he or she is a political leader or a boss of a company.  But then I still shook my hands with him because I think that it will be rude not to respond to his greeting.  Well after that I thought I will never see him again. After one month, our boss called me and asked if I can transfer to another city where the program is also implemented. They lack one staff so they need to transfer one from our team because we exceeded the approved number of staff. So I volunteered, for three reasons. First, my mother wanted me to be assigned at a near city, like maybe three hours away. So it’s really an advantage in my part. Second I feel sorry for the newly hired staff because the team leader in that place is not the type of leader you want to follow, so I want to help him. And the third reason is that, the newly hired staff in that place where I will be transferred is the guy I met at the meeting. Aside from helping him, I want to know him better because it seems that he is also interested in me. In May I transferred there, and in just a matter of seven days I discovered that he had a big crush on me, and he was planning to court me. But I didn’t let him because he already decided not to renew his contract so he will be leaving in June, specifically last week of June, and I came in May 21. So it was only a very short time to know him, so I did not say yes although part of me agrees. In just a month I discovered a lot of things about him, like he broke up with his first girlfriend two years ago. He is a religious type of person, caring, passionate about his job, sensitive, understanding, intelligent, open-minded, helpful, patient, responsible, and most of all he is a husband material. (LOL) But still I did not tell him the truth. There was this night, we were working on some paper works, we always have this over time but this night was a little different for me because I slept in the couch and he was there too sitting next to me. At first we working but then at around 10 pm I fell sleepy but he was still working so I did not leave him, instead I slept at his side. He offered me his blanket and pillow. At that moment I almost wanted to tell him the truth, he was so near to me, as always. When we sit next to each other, especially in the couch at our boarding house, when there are no other people around and together we accomplish this kind of detective game in his laptop, we always sit next to each other sooo close. At that night where I slept  and he was still awake, before I became sleepy, while he was the one playing the game, and I was just there lying my back watching him play, I really want to lean my head on his back, and worst I want to hug him. But I said to myself, “No!” Because we are not into a relationship, we only know each other. Sometimes I have this question in my mind. I don’t really consider our relationship as friends, maybe in his part it is, but in my part because I also feel something for him, then is it called “Mutual Understanding?”. We are not friends nor into a relationship, then what are we?
It’s August now and we still have communication but he only sends me messages like once a week. And we only talk like for about few minutes and after that no more. I have this big question in my mind, “Should I tell him the truth? Should I continue communicating with him? If I tell him the truth, will I let myself be in a relationship that I’ve never been before and I am afraid I might be like other girls who were hurt because of this fucking crazy thing called “love” ????